For my birthday Daddy gave me a decoder ring,
He said, "Son, now listen up, here's the important thing,
"When you hear a podcast saying God's a crock of shit,
"This special ring will help you to make sense of it."
"When Ex says that the Christians didn't found our nation,
"He means that we should all begin to worship Satan,
"And if you play John Evo's singing in reverse,
"You'll hear an evil voice pronounce a dreadful curse."
"That Phillychief pretends to be all smart and wise,
"But he's really a mouthpiece for the Prince of Lies,
"And SI and OG both sound quite profoundly clever,
"But they would like to see you burn in Hell forever."
"So use this ring with caution and do not be swayed,
"By all the propaganda that the Herd have made,
"Another Goddamned Podcast has another hidden level,
"And secretly the lot of them are worshipping the Devil."
I looked at the decoder ring as Daddy left the room,
And thought how glad I was that he had got to me so soon,
Now when I hear the podcast I know I won't even blink,
Because my Dad protected me from my own Right To Think.
