The badger in my soapdish
Is causing me some grief
Every time I use the bath
He snarls and bears his teeth.
It's getting somewhat awkward
I have to wash with cheese
So now I reek of Stilton
My wife is not best pleased.
If I could have a single prayer
Granted me by God
I'd pray for badger-eating wolves
To kill the little sod.
But God ignores my pleading
The badger's here to stay
And so I have to stink of cheddar
Every bloody day.