"Push the button," said the Kaiser as we waited by the lift,
His mustaches bristled madly and his Pickelhaube glistened,
"It won't come any faster," I declared with irritation,
But he furiously struck it with a snort of indignation.
The lift, when it materialised, was jam-packed full of bodies,
A troupe of Grecian acrobats monopolised the floorspace,
The Kaiser was distressed by all of the adjacent Greeks,
But was convinced another lift might not arrive for several weeks.
"Mein Gott, ich bin das Kaiser!" he was heard to mutter testily,
And many were the curses that erupted from his lips,
He roughly shouldered in to the now-straining elevator,
I smiled and demurred and said I'll catch one a bit later.
The motors strained and juddered at the unfamiliar heft,
And cables twanged like dulcimers as slowly doors were closed,
I do not think Kaiser Wilhelm had thought though the implications,
Of sharing his compartment with near half the Grecian nation.
Inevitably hawsers snapped and girders failed and bent,
The Kaiser's weight had pushed the straining lift over the limit,
And as the screaming faded as the screamers fell away,
I smiled ruefully and thought, "I'll take the stairs today".