Toast is good with butter,
And marmalade or jam,
It goes down well beneath a slice
Of gruyere or Edam,
Toast is great with melted cheese,
With Marmite it's delicious,
And with a slice of cucumber,
It's also quite nutricious,
Baked beans piled high upon a slice,
Are rapture to behold,
And toast with chocolate spread is worth,
Three times its weight in gold,
It's great beside a boiled egg,
Or underneath a fried one,
I'm told it's good with caviar,
I hope one day to try some,
But it doesn't taste as nice as soap.
Soap makes you feel all clean inside,
Soap is delicious,
and should be on the menu,
In any decent restaurant,
But you won't see it in any of them,
No, because eveyone's prejudiced against soap,
As a foodstuff anyway,
Well, I say, "Don't knock it 'till you've tried it!"
"You BASTARDS!"