The sun is out this morning, we are welcomed into the day with Michael Jackson jokes and tributes and a nice fry-up. I venture out into the world after breakfast while waiting for the rest of the gang to rise.

SATURDAY

Siyaya

African dancing

Telling confusing stories

With a great soundtrack

Tinariwen

Nomadic blues rock,

A perfect desert soundtrack

For sun-drenched hippies.

Spinal Tap

A tiny Stonehenge

and ladies with big bottoms

with midgets to laugh at

Rokia Traore

North African Soul

With a little bit of Jazz

A gentle groove for lunchtime.

The Futureheads

On our tiny stage

For nuclear awareness

Big shouty noise pop.

There is a little hiatus while we wait for the Great Tony Benn to turn up and speak on our stage. Well I say 'wait', he's already here, drinking tea backstage but we are waiting for Ed Byrne , who's supposed to be before him. As the crowd is so big we employ Marcus Brigstocke , who thins out the numbers hugely after the Futureheads so Mr Benn doesn't get too intimidated.

After Marcus we are 'treated' to an Important Song about guns and knife crime, sung by some young, ethnically correct young kids who are stoked to be on stage at Glastonbury. The young black lad raps, the asian girl warbles and the white girl sings. It is awful and cringe-worthy, which is what you expect from these sorts of campaigns I guess. They stand near us as the honourable Mr Benn speaks, chatting loudly in inner city accents about how wicked and terrifying it was to sing in front of all these people.

Ed Byrne (when he eventually arrives) is funny. I 'fail' to call out when he asks who has got married recently, then smile wryly to myself as he proceeds to describe the worst wedding clichés imaginable

Lisa Hannigan

Girl in a big tent

Singing incoherently

The colour is red.

Lonnie Liston Smith

A funk soul legend

But too-cheesy soul should get

Down to the Backstreets

Eliza Carthy

Bizarre Eclectic

Cabaret folk reggae jazz

The crowd is jumping

Baaba Maal

African Legend

Makes everyone jumpy, but

We have to go work

Fire Show

Tonight the show is smoother; the frightening giant bird follows me a little better, I save a small child from facial re-constructive surgery, the elephant makes it into the ring, to drive about the place aimlessly while the fire swingers do their thing. The circus field still fail to attract the crowds at the end, but there is one night to go to get it right. Finishing at midnight, we run to the top of the pyramid field to catch the end of The Boss.

Bruce Springsteen

Dancing in the Dark

Is the only song I know

Huge crowd is steaming

The Guns of Navarrone

Heaving and Jumping

Monkey Monkey Monkey Man

The beer flows freely.

Pronghorn

More mental ska-punk

A feelgood comedy band

I sleep on sofas.