tags: travel


Monday 21st April

ON THE PLANE

Sadukarai sunset

And this is really it now, all that anticipation and worry will soon be in the past. We're flying from Bahrain to Heathrow and there's seven-odd hours to go. We got up at 2am because we had to check in at 4 but didn't actually check in til 5 because the flight before us was going to Colombo , Sri Lanka so security was pretty thorough. We met an American chap who is Tamil, but is doing medicine in New York. He's very nice and has stayed with us because it helps him get through customs quicker.1

Everyone's being nice to us! It'll be different in England though. The plane's full of white people which is only natural but so strange! I can't believe that we're actually here and nearly home after all this time. This is when we realise what we've really done. My mind hasn't registered properly - I think that's it, I know I'm going home, but don't really believe it.

Aunty Fenn kissed us goodbye when we left Madurai, which is the closest we've come to any Indian lady. It really hurt that we couldn't hug or even shake hands with the HM or Miss Shanti (...). Contact is still very important to us and I missed it terribly. With most of our closest friends in India being women, you can imagine what it's been like.

The time has gone by so quickly - our memory of the flight to India is still very vivid. I remember the first night in Madurai - sleeping until 2pm and our first meal with the Fenn's. I remember our first visit to Ramnad, the incomprehension, the embarrassment and the hopelessness. It's all like it happened yesterday.

The thing is, I still remember USPG, but they've had no part in our placement. It grew into a lie whenever we told people that we are representing them (USPG) and the church. The only thing that has made it worthwhile from a World Church point of view is our contact with Rev. Jothi. We should be able to help him.

Otherwise the whole experience has been totally personal. I haven't done this for anyone but myself. It's such an amazing thing to do, living with people - you see such a unique version of the world. It gives you a sense of purpose, gathering knowledge and compassion, a wider awareness rather than just quick holiday snaps. The real point is what do you do with this knowledge?

Ah well, I don't know what I'm going to do as far as other people are concerned but it's been a great personal advancement for me. We came home at the right time, I think. I can't wait.

...

Here the diary ends, with a lovely photo of us with Miss Shanti. The back of the book is full of little goodbye notes from our friends and my choir, I'll add these at some point - whenever I get my scanner working!

When we arrive, I hardly say anything. In fact it's a few days before I feel able to speak even to my family again, a mourning process perhaps. Undergoing reverse culture shock. I do a few talks about my trip, to the Mother's Union, the Church etc. I make my photo albums and leave the diaries on a shelf.

Ten years down the line it's hard to remember the finer details, but at least now I have somewhere to jot down little things as they come to me. The whole exercise has been very worthwhile though, I don't want to forget these days.

I still have vague plans to go back, I have of course lost touch with everybody in the diaries, it all petered out after a few months but India has and will always be a very special place for me.

I've found a great SATELLITE VIEW of where we lived and worked, on Wikimapia .

  • 1. This is no joke, once they know you're from England you get waved through every gate, fast-tracked to the plane. Also the case at Heathrow, where it took us about five minutes to get out of the airport!

Submitted by dash on Sat, 21/04/2007 - 19:48




Sunday 20th April

On the Train to Chennai

I seem to be writing my diary a day late, so I'll try and catch up now.

Jerry nearly got arrested on Sunny on Friday when he went to the fish market with C. and Yesu. He got a good telling off anyway and C. felt really guilty. But 95% of Indians don't have licenses so the Policeman didn't do anything. Even Miss Shanti doesn't have a licence! If they cracked down it would solve the pollution problem, but would probably add to the poverty problem.

Our last few days have been strangely similar to our first few days. We were staying in the same room, we are travelling back to Madras on the same train (The Vaigai Express) in AC.1 Last night we had to go to the back where the Chief Reservation Officer got us seats within five minutes. The weirdest of our arriving / leaving coincidences is a man call Ravi who asked me if I remembered him. I met him on the train from Madras to Madurai in October! Haven't seen him since until booking our train home six months later.

On the way back from the station, we watched storm clouds gather and it began to rain just as we reached the Divine Patience, huge warm sticky drops from a previously empty sky. We stayed out in the rain until it turned into hail then escaped inside. Hail! It had been 37 degrees all day then it hails? Aunty Fenn said it was crying for us. It's good and bad, Pastor Fenn told us, some crops will die but others will benefit. Extremely unusual though.

The full choir

Chennai

I've ended up with a lot less stuff than I thought I had, my bag weighs 14.5 kgs and my hand luggage is almost empty. The bag that I took on the Round Trip is on it's last legs - I hope it'll survive the last journey.

I still don't feel as sad as I should do, probably the excitement of going home has overcome any other emotions. It was much worse when we left in March. Juliet said that the day after we went was like a funeral. She said the morning prayer had to be abandoned and she couldn't face it. But what's going on now? I don't know, life goes on.

Got to be up at 2am tomorrow to be at the airport for 4.

Suchindram Thanumalayar Temple

C.'s just told me about Rev Jothi's conversion, so he's the story (as C. tells it):

Rev Jothi's father was a Poojari (is a shrine priest) so he was pretty immersed in Hinduism. He had a friend who was a Christian and when he went to his friend's house they would pray and he'd laugh at them, boasting about how Ganesh (his personal God) was better than theirs. When his tenth standard exams came around he was studying with his friend at the station and his friend suggested having a bit of a pray for good luck. Jothi laughed and said there was no need for him to pray because Ganesh is the God of wisdom and would help him regardless.

So his friend prayed by himself for a long time and Jothi mocked him for wasting valuable study time. The paper was algebra and it came to the exam poor young Jothi just couldn't do it. His friend got top marks. The rules at the time were that if you failed one exam you had to re-take them all.

So, disgraced by his family and failed by his God, Jothi decided that if he passed second time around he'd become a Christian and if he failed again he'd become an atheist.

But he passed and went to see the local priest who said that he'd need a letter from his father giving permission for his baptism. His father refused and Jothi threatened to kill himself (apparently common among children who fail exams) and he relented.

After becoming a Christian, Jothi's uncle accosted him when he (Jothi) walked past his (his uncle's) shop. He shouted at him in the street and a big crowd came to stare and laugh. When he went home his parents told him that now he was a Christian he was no better than a Dalit so although he was allowed to stay with them, he had to eat all his meals separately, from different dishes and he had to wash outside. He went to see the priest again who suggested he went to Bible School.

He was named 'Jothi', which means 'Light' by his parents because he was born during Deepavali , the Festival of Lights. After his baptism he was called 'Nayagam', which means 'Leader' so his full name (Jothinayagam) means 'Leader of the Light'.

I wish I had a testimony like this. Maybe I should become an atheist to see what trials and tribulations I have to go through to be reconverted.

Taj Mahal

While shopping in Madurai, I had an incredibly interesting conversation with a Muslim bloke in one of the Government Emporiums. He told me that he reads the Bible but that he doesn't understand the way it is written and re-written and changed again and again. How can we believe it when we don't know whether it is authentic? The Holy Quran has never been changed. We say it's the Word of God and yet we question everything in it. For him, if it's written down, he has to believe it, no questions asked. He told me a story about Abraham and some King:

The King says to Abraham, I am as powerful as God, I have the power over life and death! He says to his guards, Kill this man and they kill him. Abraham remains unfazed and says, Yes, but only God can bring him back to life.

The King isn't too pleased with this, Shut up or I'll put you in that fire, he says. Abraham goes, Alright, only don't burn my robes coz they're new last Tuesday, but God WILL protect me anyway. The King has him put into the fire.

Various angels come to Abraham and offer their services, but he declines them all. Finally God himself turns up and tells the fire to cool down. FIRE! He says, Cool down! The fire does what it's told and Abraham is unharmed.

...

Now this Muslim chap believes this word for word and he HAS to believe it because it's written in the Holy Quran. It's made me think about a lot of things though, it's the SAME Abraham, they say. Muslims believe in all the prophets and that Mohamed was the last. Because he was the last, they believe that Islam is the truest, the newest religion. They believe in Jesus, the resurrection and the ascension. They believe that Jesus is the one who will come again because he ascended in Body ans well as in Soul.

So where do we stand? Are they the same, just different roads to the same hilltop? I'd like to know, but I'll have to be happy with the thought, the idea that they are.

  • 1. Air-Conditioned (First) class.

Submitted by dash on Fri, 20/04/2007 - 20:09




Saturday 19th April

Madurai

On Thursday we went shopping with the HM and Mrs Juliet, I had intended to get a Salwar Kameez for my sis but they were all in such bad taste that I couldn't bring myself to do it. We had lunch at the Chola (Garden restaurant) and the HM insisted on filling us to the brim with food. I'd tried to organise a sing-song in the afternoon, but she said let them wait.

I was an hour late and everyone had gone home except for the hardcore of favourites. We sang for a bit, Miss Shanti (the wonderful...) came round and they had to go home because it was late. C. was out somewhere so I was forced (under protest, you understand) to chat with Miss Shanti for a while. She wanted to present me with something and I nearly said what, you? but I resisted just in time. I had mentioned that her saris were always fantastic and she bought one for me to take home to my mother. She also gave me some earrings and a brooch.

C. came back and we went back to her house, promising to have some formal photos done, which we didn't because she'd gone shopping and when she came back, C. had gone to Vijilia's house to get some tapes she had stolen and when he got back the Rev had turned up (finally!), scaring Miss Shanti away (what was she THINKING, talking to me without a chaperone!).

C. was quite horrible to him but it was the last time we'll ever see him so I persuaded him to be nice. He seemed quite sad, I don't know why, he'd hardly done anything. This is a bit unfair. I just think he never really knew what to do. Maybe he didn't want us to think badly of India and that's why he never took us anywhere. He only wanted us to see the nice things.

We had dinner with a boy called Ben Daniel from VIIc which was another HUGE preparation, they just piled it on and we were forced to leave half of it. His father put a Jim Reeves record on because it's the only Western music they've got. We left politely.

...

Friday morning, 6:30 and there we were again, under the tamarind tree. We took our cameras this time and Miss Shanti (the delightful, angelic, exquisite) came down to watch. We invited her to play - Kumar and me vs. Miss S and Yesu - we won 21-18! and C. took photos.

Badminton funs

Yesterday morning was an absolute shambles after our morning exercise. Rev Jothi had promised to come round at 9am to talk about Hinduism and his conversion and Miss Shanti was to come round at 10 for photos. I took Yesu and Sunny-Zip to the phone place to reconfirm our tickets and I bought some smelly powders and things. I couldn't get through to Gulf Air so I went to a Travel Agent to see is they had a number for them. The man at the Agency looked at our tickets (I don't know why - you ask for a phone number and they look at your tickets). Aha! he said, This ticket is only confirmed to Bahrain!

Long, deathly silence.

What? But they confirmed it in Chennai!

Only to Bahrain, not to London

There followed a long and occasionally heated discussion, which largely involved me asking him to phone Gulf Air to check this and him telling me that they'd gone On Leave and I should travel to Madras that night. I asked him to phone his head office and he said there was no point because we're too late and I said just phone anyway, if our tickets ARE confirmed everything will be okay. He said he'd fax them copies of our tickets which they could check on their computer in an hour or too. why not phone, it'll be quicker? I said but he wouldn't.

Two hours I spent remonstrating with this horrible man and he finally phoned his head office who contacted Gulf Air who weren't on leave (Why would they be on leave? Don't be stupid - these tourists, I don't know) who said of COURSE the tickets are confirmed, would you like to re-confirm them?

Why do people DO this to me? Why do they find problems where there aren't any? He even thought he'd SOLVED the problem he'd invented when he found the letter (dated October 8th) that told me about our flight booking. But this letter is SIX MONTHS OLD! I told him. He wouldn't listen. JUST PHONE THEM, WHO CAN IT HURT?!!!

So my last day in Ramnad was blackened by a stupid man who made up his own version of reality. Sunny was overworked - I hope I haven't broken her. When I got back, Rev Jothi had been and gone, as had Miss Shanti, several times. We took the long-promised photographs and C. went to the fish market1 with Yesu and his camera, leaving me and Miss Shanti (the beautiful, graceful...) to talk about England, India and marriage...

I don't know WHY she's not married, she's beautiful, intelligent (BSc, BEd) and a fantastic person. Apparently her father advertised in the paper (Matrimonials) and the man who replied asked how much money he would get for her. I can only guess what they told him! It's such a terrible way of getting married, where is her value as a human being? She said that most people ask for 5lbs in gold! This is why she has all the family jewellery - her sister's married already. She has so much to offer, but it's nearly too late for her to become a mother. Of course I'd marry her, but it wouldn't work! I'm too young, for a start. Yes, I'm only joking but it's so sad - she's so perfect. But anyway...

We had our last lunch at the HM's and even though I hadn't had any breakfast I wasn't really hungry. We had coconut rice, chicken cutlets and boiled veg. Mmm mmm mmm. Jerry's mother is wonderful and this too is a tragedy. We're leaving so many wonderful people behind.

do you mind? I'm eating!

The afternoon was very strange, we gave most of our things away and sat around. It's funny, but we spent our last four days in Ramnad as if they were any old day. Everyone was happy, or at least pretended to be and life went on. We didn't see Kiruba Teacher, although we met her husband a couple of times and he didn't say anything about us leaving. Most of the schoolchildren were on holiday, but we saw most of the Important People.

C. had about £170 left over so we gave Rs6500 to Rev jothi for the people of Pamban and Rs2500 for the school library. In all reality Rev Jothi is in the most need. Even though Rev Fenn in Madurai does a lot of very good things, he has enough funds. Rev Jothi needs 1 lakh Rupees (Rs100,000) to finish his church, that's £2,000! Maybe I'll just try to get some clothes sent over or something.

  • 1. Of course I wouldn't go with him, what do you think I am?

Submitted by dash on Thu, 19/04/2007 - 20:15




Thursday 17th April

Even though we've only got a couple of days left in India our dear, dithering Reverend still didn't come to see us when he said he would. He said 9:30, we waited until eleven then took Miss Shanti's Sunny-Zip out for a spin. Why? Why didn't he come? It's the only time we could have gone round to see the projects. Now we'll never know what we missed, what the church actually does in Ramnad.

Pink House

We went to the beach on Tuesday afternoon with Yesu and Jerry - at Muthupettai - which was quite fun, although the sea was very rough and I made sure they didn't go out too far. We had a great time diving into the breakers instead. In the evening we went to see Mrs Juliet and that visit made me realise how much I've come to care for her. All the arguments and things have served to make the friendship deeper.

Yesterday we tried to go to another beach in the afternoon but the bus didn't come so we bought chocolate and played monopoly instead. I didn't really want to go to the beach with Yesu and Jerry every day because it means we're isolating ourselves from everyone. There are other people I'd like to spend time with, but no-one's going to come and visit us. They're like that. Everyone will probably come round tomorrow with invitations for dinner that we can't accept. It's as if they think we're going to be here forever. But the truth is looming large. We are denying ourselves the acceptance of this truth so that we can enjoy our last couple of days here. Just carrying on like normal. We can see people tomorrow, tonight, next week...

Last night Rev Jothi was playing badminton with his son and in due course Yesu and I borrowed some racquets off him. We played until we broke his shuttlecock and Jerry and I had to go and buy another. C. came out and we played doubles until it got dark so we switched our outside light on and played a bit more.

We had dinner with a boy from 9a called Siva and Mrs Juliet must have had something to do with it because it was Purri and potato korma stuff - our favourites! I don't think I'm going to miss the custom of guests eating first while the whole family stands around watching you eat and looking really hungry.

We were up at seven this morning playing badminton again, 1-1. I'm getting really tired now, I had about eight hours sleep last night and it was still a real effort to get up this morning. I'm going to keep it at bay until we leave though, I'll be able to sleep for as long as I like when we get home.


Submitted by dash on Tue, 17/04/2007 - 20:02




Wednesday 16th April

Yesterday's lunch at Yesu's house was excellent, and it just shows how much of an impact our bizarre eating habits have had on him. We had boiled veg (no seasoning) and chicken 65 . I think his father was pretty horrified, but we ate it all - too much - so that's alright. Indians always say 'no' when offered anything, which explains why we always get more when we don't want any. Idayavani said that when she went to Sellyoak she was told to always say what she wanted. If you say no to a cup of tea you won't get one! Here, the host has to keep pushing, because everybody says no the first time.

The Rev said he'd come round this morning to tell us about the church projects in Ramnad. He's going to take us round again (like he did in November) so we can take pictures. Well C. can, I'm not sure that I'm going to do that much as far as 'twinning' with a church goes. We haven't done anything with the church our whole time here. Our commitment is to the schools. C.'s got £100 that he's going to give to Rev Jothinayagam for the Pamban fishermen.

But all this is old hat and just part of the problem which is: WHY are we here? Is it USPG1, to do their work and re-establish links with the SPG churches here? The Bishop seems to think so. Or is it for the experience, the friendship and the holiday? An altogether cushier number and perhaps more selfish option. It's made a big impact on each of our lives in different ways and I don't know how to categorise it. It's been:

  1. A Learning experience. But how can I use this knowledge of the culture, the history, the church, the people?
  2. A cultural experience. I've adapted my deeply ingrained habits and customs to live more comfortably in this culture, to be accepted. But what good will it do me in England? Except while entertaining Indian guests?
  3. A sobering experience. I've been re-awakened to the needs of the third world and by being invited into people's homes have been closer to them than any tourist. This has helped me to see them as human as I am and not just some picture on TV to sympathize with.
  4. Working experience? Not really. For me anyway. more fun, I'd play my guitar anywhere.
  5. Friendship. The most important. Without Yesu and Jerry we'd have left long ago. They (and all our other friends) have made the whole thing so much more worthwhile. Even if we do nothing about it, we'll still have these very special memories, whatever happens.
  6. And fun. But where's the Church is all this? Okay, I admit we went to church once or twice but there wasn't exactly a big involvement or any real acceptance. Oh well.

Submitted by dash on Mon, 16/04/2007 - 19:41